As the year comes to an end (though not really to an end end since the chinese calendar continue into january and possibly a bit of February, the Thai calendar goes even further) it would be nice to summarize it before we enter 010. Since this year have had a great impact on my life in particular it really sets the last nail in the coffin for my "coming-of-age" period which started as soon as I turned 12 by the year 2000.
* First of, my job burned down. It is not the fact that my job in itself burned down that was the worst. I could still work and all but it doesn't feel good when these kind of things happen in your own hometown. It is still unclear who did it and the news got no news about these news to talk about anyway. Other people have had their jobs burned down too. Even schools and association's premises have been burned to the ground. I just wonder what is going on in this town. The way I've figured it out the arsonists must be younger than 18 at least. But who really knows? Not me.
* The middle of the year, the summer, the best time of the year (yadda yadda) is a complete blank page for me. I got burnt out during that time, my family yelled at me for only working and not taking care of myself. Disillusion never comes easy and I was more than disillusional during that times since I got few to no cred from my co-workers nor my boss. That is starting to come up right now, that they think I am the best yet to take care of the frozen goods. But it is too late now, I am sort of fed up by this type of job and the decision to move on and become a pharmacist are fundamental. Next year will find me pre-studying on my own at the local library in order to be able to get on with the education smoothly.
* The year closes with the saddest and worst note: My grandmother died. After a long long time being ill with Parkinson's disease with hallucinations as a result of both the medications and the disease her time had come. It was actually a medecine, a new one, that she was supposed to take in order to get rid of the hallucinations. Instead it made her very ill and even sped up her aging. In just one month she turned from a quite functional grandmother to a vegetable. I am glad though, for her sake, that she is no longer in the pain that Parkinson's deliver to it's "hosts". Ever since she got Parkinson's she was in pain, took tons of medecine several times a day, battled the hallucinations just to name a few. At least my last memory with her is a very happy one.
Even though this year have brought pain and misery to most of my friends, co-workers and family members it feels as if next year (the year of the tiger) will bring something better. A new start is what it shall be. I am already warming up with a new album (dunno how long I've said that) which I really believe in and feel that it will become a new album and not just talk. After several re-try's and redoing of some songs I've found inspiration again. Not only that, I am planning to do a new project since it is nice to have something else beside Don Claude. I actually dislike being stuck in the concrete, taking the same steps over and over again. This new album will sound different, so will the Don Claude album after it as well. The new project however will be a deeper look into what I did with my Untitled 1 cd. The project will be presented by the spring. A couple of new music videos will come too. Apparently my foremost music video, Micke Hatar Stellan, have got a few views and it would be interesting to see if the new ones I am planning will get that too.
As you can see in the photo above, my desk is messy, but it is partly to provoke a creative energy. Books lying here and there is inspired by Swedish original Klint-Olle who have several accordions all over his house so that he feels obliged to play them whenever. That's exactly what I need for my books. I've bought several books (and keep buying) but never read them. Time to change that. I remember when I would read 30-60 pages in a book like The Illuminatus! Trilogy a day despite the challenging prose and the fact it was in English. Thus it is time to read.
I always wanted a christmas cactus. Though i'll save it for next years christmas... Or maybe even midsummers?
I'll end this brief report with music from Gnawa.